by Mark Manson
The book is a mix of stoicism and advice on how to live. It is a really american self-help book so it might be a bit cringy to read. And most advice is well known, however the author summarizes them in a new language that is more directed to the younger generation.
Are you anxious about being anxious?
A desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. The acceptance of a negative experience is as in itself a positive experience.
People who tend to get annoyed don’t have anything more fuck-worthy to dedicate their fucks to.
Problems never stop. They merly get exchanged or upgraded.
A lot of young people feel they deserve something without earning that something. You have no right for it if you do not sacrifice.
What do you want out of live?
Better question for what do you want out of life: What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?
Often your fantasies about where you want to be are not real. You are in love with the result but not the process. That means you don’t even try. BE IN LOVE WITH THE PROCESS NOT ONLY THE RESULT
Don’t think that life is only worthwhile only you are truly great and notable. Most humans would than be for the trash.
On becoming great
People become good because they are obsessed with improvement. This stems from the realization that they are not great at all!
If you think you are great you give yourself no chance to improve and will never be great.
Prioritize better values, choose better things to give a fuck about.
Don’t just hit there. Do something. The answers will follow. Action is not the effect of motivation. It’s the cause of it.
His recommended values:
- Radical responsibility, i.e. take responsibility for everything in life (same as in Extreme Ownership
- Aknowledge your own Ignorance, Cultivate doubt in your thoughts
- Be willful to discover your own flaws and mistakes (= be curious)
- Rejection: Allow yourself to say and hear no, define what you accept and what you do not accept
- Be aware of your own death (same as the stoic memento mori)
Recomendations of mental models
- We do not always control what happens to us. BUT we can aways control how we interpret/react to what happens to us.
- Be careful what you believe. Even your memories are distorted. -> Trust yourself less.
- There is litte that is unique about you or your problems.
- You are often happier with less. The more options we have the more unhappy we are -> commit to one path.
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